How do you tell if he’s a serial cheater? And what can you do to identify that guy or mysterious person you met on a dating app or through social media?
According to a 2015 Study performed by the “Journal of Marital and Family Therapy,” nearly 55 percent of women and approximately 60 percent of men have cheated on a significant other in a partnership at some point.
While we start out encouraged to have trust and faith in a partner with no reason to doubt their good intentions, there are genuinely no guarantees in any relationship.
Not only that, but there are so many different types of cheating now that technology is on the scene. Your mate might feel as long as they’re not being physical, their behavior is acceptable.
Fortunately, if you can learn how to tell if you’re dating a cheater sooner rather than later, you won’t need to wait until it happens to you.
On the other hand, it’s essential to recognize it is possible for someone to have had specific cheating behavior in the past. But they change their ways and become a loyal person at this point.
You don’t want to hold past behavior over someone currently trying to be a better person. Let’s check out the signs that you do need to be mindful of to save yourself from the experience.
How to spot a cheater boyfriend
High percentages of men and women are guilty of infidelity in at least one relationship in their dating or even marital lifetime. In saying that, it’s essential to realize that cheating involves more than mere physicality nowadays. The guy you’re attracted to could be a husband who is a serial cheater.
With the advent of technology, there are so many varied considerations of being unfaithful. Facebook, Tinder, Badoo, POF, and so many dating sites and hookup apps are available for both genders. The problem is that most people involved in these activities don’t even realize that they’re committing infidelity.
They genuinely feel the behavior is harmless. Fortunately, there are signs you can pay attention to that will let you know whether you’re dealing with someone sure to cheat on you at some point.
Again, it’s essential to communicate with your boyfriend when you have suspicions about cheating. It might sincerely not be what you think you’re seeing. Some people do change their stripes. Check out these indications you need to have that conversation.
The introductions are not forthcoming
Most couples will wait a certain period of time before they decide to meet each other’s family and even close friends. That usually happens until you’re relatively sure there will be exclusivity or a commitment.
Something is off when you’ve been seeing each other for an extended period. And your partner has no interest in meeting those closest to you and won’t bring you to meet the people special in their life.
It’s sort of harsh to relay the facts. But in all likelihood, you’re probably a “secret” partner that they don’t want their primary mate to find out about, nor do they want you to know that you’re cheating with them.
If you haven’t taken the step to exclusivity, instead feeling stalled where you are, that’s indeed a red flag either worth a discussion or choosing to go ahead and end what doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Who knows if that guy has another girlfriend behind the scenes, and you’re not the only one he’s dating? For example, there could be hidden dating accounts on Tinder or secret profiles on Facebook and Instagram for catfishing others.
What’s your name again
Dating a serial cheater won’t let you have a great time together. Sometimes, the man will call you by other girls’ names. Believe it or not, one of the most profound signs that a mate is stepping out with someone else is their insistence on calling you by a pet name or several of them instead of using your real name.
Much of that is due to their fear of confusing the names with other women or people in general. A chronic cheater is one of those who forget the name of the new girl because he already knows dozens of others. That doesn’t mean that a partner can’t call you sweet nicknames or lovingly refer to you as their sweetheart. It simply means that you should hear your own name periodically or question why you never do.
The same holds true for you also. If you tend to only refer to your partner with nicknames and only use the actual name if you’re angry or upset about something, try to change that up to avoid making your partner think something isn’t right.
Online dating activities are still evident
It’s possible that your boyfriend is a serial cheater when you notice he is still having activity happening on the dating site circuit. It’s undoubtedly time to have a conversation about why these haven’t all been deleted. That is, if the two of you have professed that you will enjoy an exclusive relationship void of seeing other people.
That means you also need to ensure that you haven’t forgotten any accounts that might be lingering with your profile out there in the dating world. When your partner is a serial cheater, he’ll keep checking online dating accounts. In addition, he’ll get messages from other girls by phone or email. So, that won’t let the relationship last for long as you expect.
Usually, there’s sort of a ceremony, so to speak, where the two of you sit down and delete accounts together when you commit to being serious with your mate.
If your partner is hesitant or doesn’t divulge all the accounts out there, you can rest assured that the individual is attempting to see what other options are available.
The idea of settling into a one-person partnership is not something they’re entirely on board with. If that’s the case, you’ll need to decide if you want to go backward with this person or walk away.
You were the reason for their breakup
It would help if you never assume someone doesn’t have the capacity to change because everyone has the potential to grow and become a better person.
Still, there has to be some indication that if the couplehood you’re in is the result of an affair breaking another person’s heart, it begs the question of whether this person will do the same thing to you.
The consensus in these situations is that if a person cheats with you, they will do the same to you. If you’re readily able to steal someone away from another person, know in your heart that this individual has no loyalty or capacity for trust, which will hold true in your situation.
That means if someone else comes along when your novelty wears thin, there will be nothing to hold them to you.
You’re constantly accused of stepping out
Despite being exceptionally faithful and loyal to your partner, the individual is invariably jealous and accuses you of seeing other people behind their back. If this seems irrational and nonsensical to you, there’s likely something more to the story than insecurity.
In many situations, when someone points fingers, it’s because they’re guilty or projecting their own behavior onto you. Either they cheated in the past on a previous girlfriend, and they’re afraid it will come back to them in one of their relationships. Or they’re currently sneaking around and trying to appease the situation by blaming you for their behavior.
If the individual insists on going through emails, checking your phone, or knowing precisely where you’ve been, expect the same from them. Whatever the response you receive when asking for these things will expose his secrets. That’s not good for a healthy relationship that lasts for a long time.
You get no social network presence or mention
Most people prefer to have their relationships as private as possible, away from the public spectrum. No one really wants to put the day-to-day on display, or many people choose only to depict what they want people to see. And it’s not always necessarily the reality of their situation.
A guy who tends to cheat, though, doesn’t put their partner in their social media postings at all. There’s no mention on any of the person’s social networks that they’re in a relationship, no photos on Facebook or Instagram of spending time with someone special to them, nothing of the fact that they’re dating or social at all. But of course, that guy might be using accounts just like Facebook, Snapchat, and TikTok.
These are just some signs of a male serial cheater you need to be aware of. If you’ve agreed to steer clear of networking in this way with your relationship, there should be no worry over this specific thought. It does become an issue if you want your partner to at least acknowledge that the two of you are seeing each other or that you’re a couple, and they refuse.
Even more so is if they go into your posts and “untag” themself or delete things you’ve put up with the two of you on your wall. It’s a huge indication that this person doesn’t want anyone to know they’re involved.
Something to consider when looking at the varied signs that someone might be a cheater, there could be a logical explanation for some of the behavior. No one should ever jump to a conclusion without first having a discussion.
The key to a thriving relationship is open, vulnerable, and calm communication. If you approach your partner that way, they won’t feel judged or need to be defensive. Instead, they’ll be more willing to talk through what’s actually going on.
However, if these signs are blatant and the conversation goes nowhere despite your attempts to give your man the benefit of the doubt, you’re likely dealing with a serial cheater without the best of intentions.
That doesn’t mean you can’t still attempt to work things through. People can heal from affairs. Couples counseling is always an option if you’ve invested much into the relationship. Cheaters have the potential to change. Even more, therapy for serial cheaters can fix the problem if the guy is willing to do more to build a stronger relationship.
You’ll have to gauge that with your partner, deciding if they’re of that caliber or if the individual is more of a “once-a-cheater-always-a-cheater” kind of person.